Forget the growing suspicion that Ed Orgeron is becoming Gene Chizik but with less realistic hopes for a future providing unremarkable SEC Network commentary in what generally can be agreed upon as the English language. Forget the dubious odds of LSU defensive coordinator Bo Pelini enjoying an aneurysm-free autumn. Forget the notion that LSU, which fielded one of the greatest teams in college football history in 2019, is experiencing a championship hangover that merits permanently swearing off an entire liquor category and fried chicken franchise.
Like, I could totally see the Bayou Bengals, finally somewhat aware of the vomit in the corner and the gristle matted in their hair, saying they’re forever done with anise-flavored spirits and convenience store Champs.
Let’s put all that aside and move those figurative goalposts back to where they were at 11 a.m. Saturday. If you’re like me, at that time you were fumbling around and asking no one in particular, “Do we even get SEC Network Alternate?” And then, “Isn’t PBS the real alternative to the SEC Network?” If I had expected a competitive game, I would have started asking these questions at least 15 minutes earlier.