120+ Hilarious Christmas Jokes & One-liners For Kids & Adults

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Smriti Razdan
Smriti started her journey by attaining a degree in computer applications. She loves to indulge in reading undiscovered stories only to draw profound explanations about life and its existence. She welcomes you aboard on her expedition of finding herself. Smriti writes her content with a smile on her face hoping to transcend it to her readers.

With everyone preparing for the eve, Christmas is probably the most entertaining time of the year. Everyone is preparing for parties and get-togethers and if you were to attend one of those then you cannot do it without the funniest Christmas Jokes.

From the crazy dad jokes to the best question-answer ones, you will find every kind of Christmas joke here. For those who think Christmas is just about decorating Christmas trees, think again. There’s nothing better than to crack jokes and make everyone laugh their hearts out. 

Spread some seasonal joy and get in line with the festive vibe by cracking these funniest Christmas jokes. Our list will surely make you go ROFL and if it doesn’t we will pay you. (All puns intended) Quickly go through all these Christmas Jokes and comment below which one became your favorite.

120+ Best Christmas Jokes on Santa, Christmas Eve and More

Be the life of the party and make any boring party alive with the help of these best Christmas jokes. Any party can be boring if your friends haven’t attended, but you can make new friends by cracking these jokes.  

  1. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
    Claus-trophobia!
  1. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? 
    He got 25 days!
  1. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? 
    Santa Jaws!
  1. What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? 
    Freeze a jolly good fellow!
  1. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? 
    The elf-abet!
  1. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? 
    A Holly Davidson!
  1. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? 
    He pulled a cracker!
  1. Why was the turkey in the pop group? 
    Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
  1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? 
    A Christmas Quacker!
  1. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
    Santa walking backwards!
  1. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? 
    He was picking his nose!
  1. Why does Santa have three gardens? 
    So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
  1. What is the best Christmas present in the world? 
    A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
  1. What do snowmen wear on their heads? 
    Ice caps!
  1. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? 
    “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
  1. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? 
    Frostbite!
  1. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? 
    Stick with me and we’ll go places!
  1. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? 
    Because they were two deer!
  1. What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? 
    The One Show!
  1. Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? 
    Because he has private elf care!

Christmas Jokes For Everyone

  1. How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? 
    They had a weigh-in a manager!
  1. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? 
    Their days are numbered!
  1. How did Scrooge win the football game? 
    The ghost of Christmas passed!
  1. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? 
    Cross-mouse cards!
  1. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? 
    Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
  1. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? 
    Nice gnawing you!
  1. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? 
    Twerky!
  1. What does Santa do with out-of-shape elves? 
    Sends them to an elf Farm.
  1. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? 
    Because he had a low “elf” esteem!
  1. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? 
    A mince spy!
  1. How do snowmen get around? 
    They ride an icicle!
  1.  What do snowmen have for breakfast? 
    Snowflakes!
  1. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? 
    He gives them the sack!
  1. What did Santa say to the smoker? 
    Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
  1. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? 
    Tinsilitis!
  1. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? 
    ‘But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
  1. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet? 
    A mistle-toad!
  1. Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas? 
    Noël Coward!
  1. What carol is heard in the desert?
    ‘O camel ye faithful!’

Funny Christmas Jokes

1. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
Only 25, there’s no L!

2. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

3. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!

4. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels!

5. How does Christmas Day end?
With the letter Y!

6. What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!

7. What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!

8. When is a boat just like snow?
When it’s adrift!

9. Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

10. Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off!

11. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

12. What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!

13. What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!

14. What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? 
Christmas Chopin!

15. What’s a child’s favorite king at Christmas?
A stoc-king!

16. Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

17. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
Because he had nobody to go with!

18. How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
On the dark side!

19. Who’s Rudolph’s favorite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!

20. What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!

Christmas Jokes And Puns 

1. Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill?
The National Elf Service!

2. What is white and minty?
A polo bear!

3. Why did Scrooge keep a pet lamb?
Because it would say, “Baaaaahh humbug!”

4. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen!

5. What cars do elves drive?
Toyotas!

6. What is Santa’s primary language?
North Polish.

7. What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This one will sleigh you!

8. How do you lift a frozen car?
With a Jack Frost!

9. Which holiday mascot has the least spare change?
St. Nickel-less!

10. What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Welfy!

11. How did the bauble get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life!

12. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph!

13. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present’s beneath them!

14. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!

15. Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

16. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?
Looks like rain, dear!

17. Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!

18. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole?
A lost clause!

19. What part of the body do you only see during Christmas?
Mistletoe!

20. What do the elves cook within the kitchen?
Utensils!

Christmas Cracker Jokes

  1. What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? 
    One slays a dragon, the other drag a sleigh!
  1. What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? 
    Christmas chopping!
  1. Where do Santa and his reindeer go to get hot chocolate while flying in the sky? 
    Star-bucks.
  1. What do sheep say at Christmas? 
    A Merry Christmas to Ewe!
  1. Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? 
    There’s o well, no well!
  1. Which football team did the baby Jesus support? 
    Manger-ster United!
  1. What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple? 
    A pineapple!
  1. Why is winter a snowman’s favorite time of year? 
    Because they can camouflage!
  1. What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve? 
    Auld Fang Syne!
  1. What athlete is warmest in winter? 
    A long jumper!
  1. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? 
    Jingle Smells!
  1. What do you get when you cross a deer with rain? 
    A reindeer!
  1. What’s worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
    Frosty the Snowman with a hot flush!
  1. What is the most competitive season? 
    Win-ter!
  1. What type of key do you need for a Nativity play? 
    A don-key!
  1. Why don’t penguins fly? 
    Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!
  1. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? 
    Quit hanging around!
  1. Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree? 
    It was afraid of the bark.
  1. Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? 
    She couldn’t run a stable government!
  1. Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? 
    They want to open the doors themselves!
  1. What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? 
    Santa flies at least once a year!
  1. Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. 
    He said he fancied a Korea change!

Laugh-Out-Loud Christmas Jokes

  1. What do you call a scary-looking reindeer? 
    A cari-boo.
  1. What do reindeers say before they tell you a joke? 
    This one’s gonna sleigh you!
  1. What do you call Santa’s little helpers? 
    Subordinate clauses.
  1. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? 
    The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es
  1. How do you know when Santa’s around? 
    You can always sense his presents.
  1. What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? 
    Elfis.
  1. What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas? 
    Cross-mouse cards!
  1. Where does Santa keep all his money? 
    At the local snow bank.
  1. Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? 
    Because they’re shell-fish.
  1. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? 
    Silent Night.
  1. What does Santa do with out-of-shape elves? 
    Sends them to an elf Farm.
  1. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? 
    A mince spy!
  1. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? 
    Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.
  1. How do snowmen get around? 
    They ride an icicle!
  1. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? 
    Santa Pause.
  1. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? 
    He refers to his calen-deer.
  1. Why wouldn’t the Christmas tree stand up? 
    It had no legs.
  1. What does Jack Frost like best about school? 
    Snow and tell.
  1. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? 
    A snowball.
  1. What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt? 
    Snow!

Wrapping Up

That was all about this article on “120+ Hilarious Christmas Jokes & One-liners For Kids & Adults”. If you liked these jokes then comment below and let us know about them. You can also share this article with your friends and family.

Have a great day and keep visiting PathOfEx again.

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