Funny New Year’s Jokes To Laugh Over In 2022 | One-liners, Puns & More

Laugh all of your heart out with these hilarious New Year’s jokes.

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Smriti Razdan
Smriti Razdan
Smriti started her journey by attaining a degree in computer applications. She loves to indulge in reading undiscovered stories only to draw profound explanations about life and its existence. She welcomes you aboard on her expedition of finding herself. Smriti writes her content with a smile on her face hoping to transcend it to her readers.

It wasn’t only Chandler who used humor as a defense mechanism. 2021 has done enough to make all of us laugh over our miseries. From being stuck in our homes to planning virtual New Year’s Games on Zoom, this year has been through a lot of ups and downs. However, that doesn’t mean you have to bid it goodbye on a bad note. Have a look at all the Funny New Year’s Jokes and send them to your loved ones. 

As much as we would love to enjoy all the festivities of the holiday season, there is a little pressure about things that we are going to gift. New Year gifts for family members, friends, and colleagues need to be sorted out. Moreover, you also have to look for some entertaining activities if you have kids at home. After all, they can’t be bored on the eve, do they?  

You can try decorating your place, plan a family dinner, and host a nice party for your close ones. And when you plan to post your party pictures on Instagram with captions, make sure you go over some of the best New Year’s Jokes and puns for beginning a great 2022. Let’s start with the jokes now.

Best New Year’s Jokes For 2022

80 Funny New Year’s Jokes To Laugh Over In 2022

You can send these hilarious New Year jokes to your friends and family members. You can even wish them a Happy New Year by sending these jokes. If you are viewing this article from a phone then hold the text to view the copy option. Select the complete line and paste wherever you want. 

If you want, you can even use these New Year’s jokes as your captions in Instagram reels. Enough with the talk. Let’s not keep you waiting anymore-

1. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s.
Middle age is when you’re forced to.

2. What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus?
No one is ever awake to see them.

3. What is a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.

4. My New Year’s resolution is to see my cup half-full, preferably with rum, gin, vodka, or moonshine.

5. What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution? 1080p.

6. What do you use in the bathroom on Jan. 1 after No. 2?
A New Year’s bidet.

7. What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31?
New Year’s Steve!

8. What do cows say on Jan. 1?
“Happy Moo New Year!”

9. What’s the worst part of jogging on New Year’s Eve?
The ice falling out of your drink!

10. What is corn’s favorite holiday?
New Ears Eve.

11. How did Prince celebrate the new millennium?
He partied like it was 1999.

12. My New Year’s resolution was to drop my bad habits, but no one likes a quitter.

13. What was the Amityville Priest’s resolution?
To exorcise more.

14. What does a field grow on Jan. 1?
New Year’s hay.

15. What was Dr. Frankenstein’s new year’s resolution?
To make new friends.

16. What does a ghost say on Dec. 31?
“Happy Boo Year!”

17. What did Che Guevara make on New Year’s Day?
A New Year’s revolution.

18. What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you since last year!

19. A man asks his buddy for a cigarette. His friend quips, “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution and that you don’t smoke.” The man replied, “I’m in phase one of quitting.” Confused, his friend asked, “Phase one?” The man laughed, “Yes. I’ve quit buying.”

Funny New Year’s Jokes For Everyone

  1.  What new year’s resolution should a basketball player never make? To travel more.
  1. What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31?
    Ring in the New Year.
  1. What was the official snack food of New Year’s Eve?
    Dick Clark Bar.
  1. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
  1. What is the snowman’s New Year’s resolution?
    To chill out more.
  1. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?
    Happy New Cheer!
  1.  A woman took an afternoon nap on New Year’s Eve. When she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year’s present. What do you think it all means?” He replied, “Aha, you’ll know tonight!” At midnight, her husband handed her a small gift-wrapped present. Excited, she opened it quickly, but was even more surprised: In it was a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.
  1. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve?
    Because it’s too far to walk.
  1. What’s the easiest way to keep your New Year’s resolution to read more?
    Watch TV with subtitles.
  1. What do criminals pay on Jan. 1?
    New Year’s restitution.
  1. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
  1. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
  1. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
    Waiting on the punchline.
  1. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off.
  1. A man who had too much to drink decides to walk home on New Year’s Eve. A policeman stopped the man and asked where he was going. “I’m on my way to a lecture,” the man replied. The cop scoffed, “Who gives lectures on New Year’s Eve?” The man answered: “My wife.”
  1. Why is partying in Times Square overrated?
    Because they drop the ball every year.
  1. What do you call someone who says they know all the words to “Auld Lang Syne?”
    A liar.
  1. Why are there so many vampires out on New Year’s Eve?
    For Old Fangs Time.

Also, read 25+ New Year Gift Ideas For Boys | Gifts All Men Will Love

New Year Dad Jokes For 2022

  1. What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ear’s Day!
  2. This New Year’s, I resolve to be less awesome since that is the only thing I do in excess.
  3. My wife still hasn’t told me what my New Year’s resolutions are.
  4. What kind of toilets do French people use on January 1st? New Year’s Bidet.
  5. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve? I haven’t seen you for a year!
  6. I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year. — a dad on new year’s eve.
  7. I walked around the house complaining about how cold it was. Then my dad opened the bathroom door and yelled “go stand in the corner, it’s always 90 degrees there.
  8. I was wondering why this frisbee kept looking bigger and bigger. Then it hit me. 
  9. What do you call a T? Rex who can’t accept defeat?
  10. My friend asked me where I see myself in the new year.
    How would I know? I don’t have a 2022 vision.
  11. Dad: Hood night son. Happy New Year.

Son: Happy New Year, Dad.

Dad: I’ll see you….
Son: Don’t, Dad!

Dad: …….next year. 

  1. Ever dad on New year’s day- “Happy new year! I haven’t seen you since last year maybe we should catch up sometime.”
  2. Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? So when they come back to port they can, SCANDINAVIAN.

New Year’s Jokes and Punchlines 2022

  1. What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31? “See you next year!”
  1. I made a New Year’s resolution to stop procrastinating, but I’m going to wait until next year to start.
  1. Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year’s Eve?
    Times Square.
  1. Why should you stand on just your left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?
    So you start the New Year on the right foot.
  1. What does a ghoul say on Dec. 31?
    “Happy New Fear!”
  1. What food should you avoid on New Year’s?
    Firecrackers.
  1. What happened to the man who stole a calendar?
    He got 12 months!
  1. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?
    Social Security.
  1. What New Year’s resolution guarantees success?
    Making a resolution to break your resolution.
  1. What does a caterpillar do on Jan. 1?
    Turns over a new leaf.
  1. Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?
    He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
  1. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?
    Chill out.
  1. What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?
    No one is awake to see either of them.
  2. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
  1. What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
    Hogs and kisses.
  1. What did Adam say to Eve on December 31?
    It’s Christmas, Eve. 

Also, read How to Celebrate New Year at Home | 9 Interesting And Innovating Ideas

Corniest New Year’s Jokes For 2022

  1. Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve.
    It’s December 31st.
  1. New Year? I just got used to this last one!
  1. “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” — A dad on New Year’s Eve.
  1. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
    Social Security
  1. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
    To start off the new year in a cool way.
  1. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?
    The ice falls out of your drinks!
  1. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year ….. but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
  1. At the beginning of this year, I made a New Year’s resolution to lose 10 pounds…… Only 15 more to go!
  1. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
    Waiting for the punchline.
  1. My New Year’s resolution is to break my New Year’s resolutions.
    That way I succeed at something!

Also, read New Year’s Resolution Ideas | Productive Plans For 2022

New Year’s Jokes For Kids in 2022

  1. Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve?
    He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.
  1. Who gets the most excited about the New Year’s Eve countdown?
    Calendar companies.
  1. Unfortunately, I have two left feet, so it’s impossible for me to start the new year off on the right foot.
  1. I always make breakfast at midnight on 31 December; I like a good New Year’s toast.
  2. My favorite thing to say on New Year’s Day is that I can remember last year like it was yesterday.
  1. I thought I was lost on my way to the New Year’s Eve party, but then I found the Auld Lang sign.
  1. I can’t wait until 1 January 2022; then I can say that hindsight really is 2021.
  1. Dracula passed out at midnight on New Year’s Eve; there was a countdown.
  1. Not sure if you’ve heard about the New Year’s Eve kidnapping? Don’t worry, the kid woke up.
  2. What do dogs say on New Year’s Eve? Woof.
  1. What did the friends say to each other at midnight on New Year’s Eve? “I haven’t seen you since last year!”
  2. I’m not buying a 2022 calendar until I see the trailer.

The Best Knock-knock New Year’s Jokes for 2022

  1. Knock, knock!
    Who’s there?
    Howie.
    Howie who?
    Howie going to stay up until midnight, you look tired already.
  1. Knock knock! Who’s there? 
    Abby. 
    Abby who? 
    Abby New Year!
  1. Knock knock! Who’s there? 
    Razor. 
    Razor who? 
    Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.
  1. Knock knock!
    Who’s there?
    Cheese.
    Cheese who?
    For cheese a jolly good fellow.
  1. Knock Knock!
    Who’s there?
    Mary and Abby!
    Mary and Abby who?
    Mary Christmas and a Abby new year.

Check out, 11 Smart New Year Gifts For Kids | Playful Activities For Little Ones

Wrapping Up

All of these Best New Year’s Jokes were hilarious, to say the least. My favorite ones are the knock-knock jokes. Is it the same with you or do you like some other joke. If yes, then comment below your favorite puns from this list of “Funny New Year’s Jokes To Laugh Over In 2022”.

If you liked this article, then make sure you share it with your friends and family members, or even better, you can post this article on your social media handles. 

Keep visiting Path of EX and have a great year! 

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