With Halloween coming right up just around the corner, it’s time to load up your arsenal with some of the best Halloween jokes and puns. And we’ll help you out arm yourselves up with some of the best funny and interesting jokes in this spooky holiday season.
From corny Dad jokes to the ever-so-surprising good-old Knock-Knock! jokes, we’ll be listing down a compilation of over a hundred Halloween jokes and puns that will definitely make you laugh hysterically.
Whether you’re out trick-or-treating in your neighborhood or making the most out of the festival from your home this year, these jokes are worth a shot and will make your group laugh out loud. Read along as we cover a total of 170 Halloween jokes spread across the spookiness of this festive season from the gang of monsters, vampires, and witches to even pumpkins and candies. Get your Halloween Drinks ready and get into the Holiday fun.
Halloween Dad Jokes
1. Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
2. What is a ghost’s favourite meal? Spook-ghetti.
3. What is a witch’s favorite class? Spelling!
4. Why do ghosts make the best cheerleaders? Because they have spirit.
5. What do you call a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
6. What kind of monster is the best dancer? The boogieman.
7. What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
8. Why do ghosts love going to Six Flaggs? Because they can ride lots of roller-GHOST-ers.
9. What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
10. Who are the werewolf’s cousins? The what-wolf and then when-wolf.
11. How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
12. What do witches use on their hair? Scare-spray.
13. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
14. What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing Cream!
15. Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded.
16. Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
17. The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
18. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
19. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
20. How do vampires start their letters? “Tomb it may concern…”
21. The skeleton knew what would happen next—he could just feel it in his bones.
22. Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight? They’re all size S.
23. How do you get inside a locked cemetery at night? Use a Skeleton Key to unlock the gates!
24. What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
25. Where does Dracula keep his money? In a blood bank.
26. The favored historical ruler of skeletons is none other than Napoleon Bone-a-part.
27. Every Sunday, the skeleton plays his organ for the congregation.
28. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music.
29. What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
30. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
Halloween Jokes For Kids
1. The skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm—he just didn’t have any guts.
2. Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
3. How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
4. Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life.
5. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles.
6. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
7. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
8. What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
9. Where do ghosts go on holidays? The Boohamas.
10. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
11. Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
12. Who did the scary ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up!
13. The skeleton didn’t mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
14. What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
15. How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
16. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
17. What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
18. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
19. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
20. What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
21. What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
22. What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti!
23. Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques.
24. What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing it’s head off!
25. What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
26. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
27. What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane or a skelecopter.
28. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
29. What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
30. Why are ghosts so bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them.
Halloween Food Jokes
1. What would you get if a pumpkin is dropped? Squash!
2. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
3. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? “Trick-or-feet!”
4. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
5. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
6. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
7. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal? “Bone Appetit!”
8. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
9. What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Boo-berry!
10. What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
11. What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream.
12. Why didn’t the skeleton like Halloween treats? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
13. What do players at Wimbeldon eat on Halloween? Strawberries and scream!
14. What do you call a mummy who tastes like candyfloss? A yummy mummy!
15. What do ghosts put on their turkey? Grave-y!
16. How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried!
17. What noise did the witch’s cereal make? Snap, crackle and pop!
18. What’s a vampire’s favorite ice cream flavor? Veinilla!
19. What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
20. What is a jack-o-lantern with no lights and more sweetness called? A Pumpkin pie.
21. What candy does Winnie the Pooh give out every Halloween? Bit-o Honey.
22. What type of Halloween candy is never on time? Choco-late.
23. How would you make a chocolate milk-shake? By giving it a good scare!
24. What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
25. Which Halloween candy always has a bad smell? Footsie rolls.
26. Why was the vampire super intelligent? Because he had been eating a pack of smarties!
Halloween Trick or Treat Jokes
1. What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
2. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
3. What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
4. What do birds say on Halloween? “Trick or tweet!”
5. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no-body to go with.
6. What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
7. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates
8. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
9. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul friend.
10. What do owls say when they go trick or treating? “Happy Owl-ween!”
11. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost bite!
12. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
13. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
14. Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
15. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
16. What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
17. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
18. What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
19. Who was the winner of the skeleton beauty pageant? No-body.
20. What type of pasta is mostly served in the haunted house? Fettucine afraido!
21. How do ghosts usually wash their hair? With sham-boo.
22. What is a vampire’s greatest fear? Tooth decay!
23. What do ghosts talk about at sleepovers? They tell scary human stories.
24. What would you call a ghost who has fractured his leg? A hoblin goblin!
25. What is huge, scary and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
26. What would you call a chicken who is haunted? A poultry-geist.
27. Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator? It lifts their spirits.
28. What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock the house? A spoo-key.
29. What did the ghost wear to the dance? Booooots.
30. What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween? Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
1. Knock, Knock… Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
2. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
3. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
4. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you.
5. Knock, Knock… Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
6. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
7. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
8. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
9. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
10. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howl! Howl who? Howl you know unless you open the door!
11. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
12. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jacklyn. Jacklyn who? Jacklyn Hyde!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Getyur. Getyur who? Getyur fangs outta my neck!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad it’s Halloween!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice Cream. Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Twick. Twick who? Twick or tweet, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wanda! Wanda who? Wanda go trick or treating tonight?
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to give us more Halloween candy?
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diane. Diane who? I’m Diane to eat my Halloween candy!
21. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aida! Aida who? Aida lot of sweets and now I’ve got tummy ache!
22. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe please give me a Halloween treat?
23. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ooze. Ooze who? Ooze that monster over there?
24. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs! Figs who? Figs your doorbell, it’s broken!
Best Halloween Puns
1. What is the skeleton’s funniest bone? Its humerus.
2. What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAAAINS.
3. Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen? They’ll get frostbite.
4. Why did the witch look so angry? She has a resting witch face!
5. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
6. Where do ghosts like to go swimming? Lake Erie.
7. How can you tell if a vampire has been to a bakery recently? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
8. Why do they put fences around graveyards? Because people are dying to get in!
9. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The Xlylo-bone!
10. Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
11. What can you say about a terrible mummy joke? It Sphinx!
12. What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos.
13. What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean? Lazy bones.
14. Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets? They can keep anything under wraps.
15. Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost? To the dayscare center.
16. What kind of phone do witches use? A touch-toad phone
17. What did the werewolf eat right after he got his teeth cleaned? The dentist.
18. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
19. Why are vampires so good at baseball? They bring their own bats.
20. When is it bad luck to see a black cat headed toward you? When you’re a mouse.
21. What part of the street do vampires live on? The dead end!
22. How are witches able to stay so positive? Witch-ful thinking!
23. What are a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair? The Scary-Go-Round!
24. Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were Trans-Parents!
25. Why did the ghost go to the bar? To get some boos.
26. Why does Dracula love going to the circus? He loves the Juggler!
27. Why was the ghost sad on Valentine’s Day? He couldn’t find a boo!
28. What is a ghost’s favorite band? The Grateful Dead.
29. What is a goblin’s favorite cheese? Monster-ella.
This brings us to the end of our article on the best Halloween jokes for this year’s spooky season. We hope you enjoyed reading through these jokes and had loads of laughter. If you liked the article, share it with your friends.
And comment down below with some of your additions and variations of Halloween jokes to continue the zeal of the season. We’d love to hear from you guys!
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